Courtney

Well, I got through today and though it was painful, it was easier than last year, Thank God.

Well, I woke up this morning and got Ryann ready for school without any argument or fight, Thank God.

Well, I filled my day at work with answering phones, proofing wires, filing, verifying funds, etc...Thank God.

Today is a tough day.

Today is the anniversary of the day that my step-DAUGHTER, Courtney left the earth.

Courtney was killed two years ago, on August 25th, in a car accident, she was 19 years old. She was a victim of road rage, if you can believe it. (I know we can't.) She made the bad choice of getting into a car with a man who was angry and high. She also chose not to wear a seatbelt... Unfortunately, for her and us, IT WAS A FATAL DECISION.

With three other people in his car, this man decided to race down a rural route going 60 mph. He tried to run another car off the road, which he did accomplish. After which, the man lost control of his car and slammed into a tree going 60 mph.

Courtney was in the front passenger seat, she was not wearing a selt belt. The medics said she was dead at the scene.

What do you think was going through her mind? During the chase? Just before impact? I wonder about that. It's enough to drive me crazy!

When Courtney passed it was hard. At the time, we were treating her with 'tough love'. Not just Pete and I, but Mallorie, her sister, did as well.

I always thought there would be time. Shame on me, I should know better.

God knows, when I was young, I didn't get along with my mother, but when I grew older I had the chance and opportunity to realize that my mom wasn't such a bitch and that she actually knew what she was talking about, at times. I always thought I would have that with Courtney. You know, that one day she would 'wake up' and realize that I wasn't such a bitch. Never happened.

But, I hope that I'm not such a bitch. Mallorie, without knowing it, proves that to me every single time I speak to her. She told me not too long ago, although not in the same exact words, that because of me she has a relationship with her dad... That means a lot.

But, it still doesn't change the fact that Courtney is dead.

Life sucks...sometimes...