I really miss playing Michele games!

Okay, I admit that I'm not on the computer as much as I used to be, which means I don't blog as often as I used to or visit other peoples blogs that much either...but I must admit that when I do get online the first thing I miss is Michele Agnew...

I do not personally know Michele, but I feel like I do. I discovered her site a few years ago. It was awesome. She would write stories, ask questions, pose puzzles, conduct interactive contests. Every week there was something new, different and exciting. Anyone could participate. Also, every week there was the "Meet and Greet". You would say hello to Michele then go visit the person who posted before you, read the latest post, leave a comment and say, "Hello Michele sent me". I really loved playing the 12 (or 13) letter word game!! I rocked at it!!

Well, Michele retired from her blog. I understand that it took up a lot of her time and that she had to attend to her real life. (Go Michele!) So I am not mad at her, at all.

But someone else said they would take over...and they did take over the "Michele Meet & Greet"...but that's all they did...

No more "what if..." questions. No more "list your five favorite movies". No more "six degrees" quizzes. No more games at all! So we are left with a meet and greet and absolutely no FUN at all!!!

I really miss playing Michele games!

"All right Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up"

Drama...is definitely a part of my life. Even though I do not want drama in my life, my life seems to be all about drama. It started when I was very young. As a matter of fact when I was about 8 or 9 years old, my mother and her Catholic Daughter friends started calling me 'Sarah Heartburn'. It excited me and angered me all at the same time. I was thrilled that I was getting attention, but unsure of what the name meant. Then, one day, I heard the meaning behind the name. It was a word-play on the famous actress, Sarah Bernhardt. I was okay with that, since she was so famous and all. I acted up a storm! Every time I knew my mother's friends would be visiting, I would plan my next 'performance'! Until...I found out what Sarah Bernhardt was so famous for. Completely ridiculous, over-the-top, exaggerated and distorted dramatic acting. Here I was thinking that I was being complimented on my acting, when they were actually laughing at my over-acting. Hence the name, 'Sarah HEARTBURN'.

Now I am grown and have children of my own. The first time I called my daughterthe beloved nickname, 'Sarah Heartburn' she cried & whined. There wasn't any excitement, no thrill and she didn't even know what I meant! So unfortunately, I know what that means...it means I'm pretty much screwed. Not only is she over-acting, but she is acting like it is real life! So it will be just a matter of time before she is saying..."All right Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up"

One Wish

Let's just imagine that dreams really do come true. And you have the opportunity to grant one single wish for the whole entire world, except for world peace... What would you wish for...and why?

No More Reindeer Games...just my games!

Well, it's either late at night, or early in the morning depending on the way you look at it...and I am bored!!!

I just visited 'Netchick' (Michelle's replacement) and she had a meet & greet posted...which is cool...but...there weren't any GAMES!!!

That's one thing that I loved about visiting Michelle's site...the games...

So, how do we fix this? Do I start a game? I don't think anyone will visit me though...

Either way...I want to play, I Spy!!!! (any takers?)

I spy with my little eye...something slimey!

Cutting Back Sucks!

I know that the economy really sucks right now. I also understand that companies are looking for ways to cut back and that sometimes that means laying off staff. I know cause I was laid off! I was also fortunate enough to get another job.

But do you know what really sucks? My favorite Blog site, "Ask Michelle", has decided to discontinue the interactive blog & games that they have been doing for quite some time. I will miss it

Tonite I actually submitted my farewell response to Michelle...it is sad but true...

Maybe I will start another blog called..."Ask Eileen"...

We'll see.

Historical Election

This was a historical election no matter which side was victorious. If McCain had won, then it would have been the first time a woman was elected as a vice-president. Sorry, but DENIED!

On the other hand, Barrack Obama won, so it is the first time that an African-American has been elected president. Awesome!

Personally, I don't care about his race, but I do care about what he can do for me, my family & my country.

History Repeats Itself...History Repeats Itself...History Repeats Itself...

When I was younger I never believed that, "History repeats itself". I mean, come on, like Columbus would ever discover America again, right? Now that I am older and have had children, I know that it is true but not necessarily in the factual sense.

I was a challenging teenager, to say the least. My parents didn't know half of what I was doing, thank goodness, but even at half the trouble, I was extremely hard to deal with. It took years to recover our relationship, which thankfully we did. The love between myself and my parents outlasted and out shined all of the difficulties we experienced when I was an awful teenager, thank goodness!

Now, let's fast-forward about 18 years. I am living in a far away state. I am married with a toddler and 2 teenage daughters in the house. I am going crazy trying to control the younger girl, who although is a 'step' is mine (some people don't understand that part, but she is/was mine). To my face I was Eileen, but to her friends I was her Mom. Anyway, she was doing the usual illegal teenage antics, which I did call her out on. I could deal with that. But when I had to go back to work full time, she was being irresponsible when it came to letting people in my home to take what they wanted, along with skipping school and other issues. After having numerous items stolen including my original wedding ring, then I was also told by her school that I would be jailed if she continued to skip and that the only way to assure her attendance was escorting her from class to class, I had reached my breaking point. So I called crying to my mom, "Please, I need help, I don't know what to do..." I gotta give Mom credit, she let me gush until I finally said, "I need help, what should I do?" In response, I heard a soft chuckle. Here I am devastated and Mom laughed! My response? "I know I was a horrible teenager, I'm sorry, but I turned out ok, right? Please help me! Seriously, I need help!" My Mother responded, "You can only do what I did. Keep repeating to yourself, "This too shall pass, I will outlast...I will outlast...I will outlast..."

Fast forward 8 years...I'm still in Florida our daughter, Mallorie gets married and moves 1200 miles away. She has 3 new step children who all have ADHD. they stayed with her for the whole summer along with my daughter, Ry for 1 month and of course her own girls, Christi & Cailin. Now, to her credit, she didn't call me asking for help, but one time, about a 3 weeks into the 2 1/2 month stay, when I called her one night around supper time...she told me she was sitting in her car in the driveway because she had to escape. She then told me everything that had been happening at her home with her stepkids, which with their issues was a lot.

You know what? I chuckled...just like my Mom had done to me years before! Then I remembered the conversation I had with my Mom and thought, "Holy crap, she was so right!" I asked my daughter if she truly loved her husband then gave her the best advise that I knew.

I said, "Just keep telling yourself, this to shall pass, I will outlast."

History Repeats Itself...

39 Days & Counting

This week, Thursday, is my Friday. I just completed my 2nd 4 day work week and I'm tired.

One thing that stinks about a 4-day work week is getting up at 5:15 every morning. I am still trying to get used to that, and I am yawning by 3pm every day.

It took a lot of work, but I finally cleaned out the AP office. Now, there are only 5 files that require additional documentation to update.

The other thing that stinks is that on my 3 day weekend when I don't have to get up early, do you think I can sleep in?? HECK NO!!! If it isn't my old bladder saying, "Pee now!", then it's the darn dog (I love Lady!) wanting to go out. It sucks! On the off-chance that those scenarios do not occur and I can sleep in...I almost always have some shocking dream that startles me awake and I look at the clock...it's 5:15 (crap!)

I know I am stressing on my 90 day probation. I really, really love this job & I don't want to get canned, hence 39 days & counting. But on the up side, I honestly think I should be ok, cause yesterday, I was informed that I would be getting a company cell phone...

I think my position is secure, but I will not know for sure until December 2nd.
DANG!...38 days & counting...

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Ok, it has been ages since I have posted. There is a reason, which is as follows...

All year long I had been working hard, until July 30th...

On the morning of July 30th, I unwillingly joined the ever growing population of hard-working individuals whom due to the sub-prime rate mortgage idiocy, had lost their jobs.

I was led into a conference room to face an unknown "corporate" HR person who tried to give me the required "separation package" information. I was so pissed off, that I almost couldn't breathe! I just wanted to leave. I cut her off and asked if I could go. Later that day, after my anger subsided, I felt sorry that I had reacted so strongly. She had given me a business card, so I called. She didn't answer, so I left an apology on her voicemail.

I was out of work...God I hate looking for a job!!!! I applied for unemployment, which is some money, but lets face it, it isn't enough...

I revamped my resume. I posted it on a couple of sites and started applying for jobs. The next week was a charm, because I started getting calls left & right!!! The 1st call was the best. I know because I followed it to a new job, which I absolutely love!!!!

If I hadn't lost my job at (***) when I did, then I wouldn't have updated my resume or posted it on
monster.com, which means that EIWF wouldn't have seen it or called me for an interview which would mean I definitely wouldn't be working at one of the best darn jobs I have ever had...

I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, right?

RIGHT!!!!!

Courtney's Smile

When I cleaned Ry's room I found another poem that she wrote for her sister, Courtney. Here it is:

Her Smile

She smiles,

I smile

back

Joy in my heart

pearly white teeth

A smile of

love staring

back and

forth

Eyes shine

with a smile

in her heart

Smiles repeat

like a mirror

game

Smiles leap

across the room

and back

her smile is

a message of love.

Author: Ryann Wallace Duff

She's Back!!!

It's all good...She's back!!!

I missed RyRy alot. When we picked her up at the airport, I told her father that I give it 2 days before I threaten to ship her back to her sister in Texas, he agreed. We both lost, it was 3 days! Oh well...

When she saw her room , she said, "Well, it's not what I expected...IT'S BETTER!!"

So I guess she loved her room, which is a definite kudos!

My baby's growing up...

I miss RyRy alot!!

My daughter has an awesome imagination & she is very brave!

She went to visit her sister in Texas this summer and is flying back from Houston, TX to Tampa, FL alone, on July 2nd! She is scared, but I keep on telling her that it is nothing big for her to fly back from Texas alone. Her sister will put her on the plane and I will pick her up at the gate, but, I know that she will still be on the plane alone. (I think I'm freaking out about it more than Ry)

I am completely remodeling her room... I am excited about it & I hope she loves it. It is very eclectic...she picked the color of the walls & that's all. I have created a room that I love & I hope she loves it too.

I miss RyRy alot!!

A Very Special Person

I was told that I needed to go out & have fun because my daughter was away visiting her sister in Texas for a month. So I made plans for my husband & I to go out with another couple. Within the first 5 minutes of us being out, I found out that a close friend of mine from the past, the woman who when my mom was 1400 miles away, adopted me when I was pregnant, and the first person to ever babysit my daughter, Grandma Jan had died. All of the sudden the air was sucked out of my lungs...I couldn't breathe. Then, I started sobbing. So I excused myself & escaped outside to cry. My husband came out to check on me, I said I was alright. I went back into the lounge and we all played pool, then went to another establishment to have some food. Through out the night I have been softly crying, every other moment my eyes were leaking; I couldn't help it, they wouldn't stop. My husband just hugged me and said he understood.

To my good friend, Jan you were a very special person in my life. I love you and I will miss you.

To my husband, Pete, I respect & appreciate you. You are my soulmate...

Because I Don't Want To!

I miss my girl, RyRy. She's a good girl, very smart. She's 11 years old & she agreed to go to visit her sister in Texas for a month, if I completely remodeled her room. (Total Bribe!)

Room's almost done, and boy, is she going to be surprised!?!?!

I Blog Because I Want To

I love the internet. I love to surf & I am extremely adept at finding information.

But now I must say... "Once apon a time; a long, long, long time ago, when I started blogging." I wrote for myself & never expected anyone to read or concur with my concepts. I loved being able to express my feelings, even though nobody else wanted to hear about it. That was ok with me!

I blog because I want to.

The Name Game

Here is a question I would like to ask parents. How did you figure out what to name your child(ren)? Was it after a relative, friend, lost loved one, or was it a name that would sound good rolling off your tongue when you had to discipline your child? (Which one of my friends actually admitted to )

I see all kinds of names where I work. There are names from all walks of life. Some long, some foreign, some hard to figure out how to even try to pronounce them, and some extremely funny. For example, there was an actual person named, 'Ima Bush'. Seriously, Ms. Ima Bush. I am sure Ms. Bush is a very nice person, and I apologize if she is now reading this and is offended, as that certainly was not my main objective. I guess Ms. Bush's parents weren't thinking soundly after the delivery of their beautiful baby girl, "Let's name her Ima...Ima Bush." How much teasing & harassment do you think Ima received at school, in the playground or even at work? And unbelievably there are many, many, many and many more funny, crazy names out there! I actually saw a file for Jesus Crist. (I'm serious)

So now I would like to ask some parents, "What were you thinking?"

As a mother, I remember being pregnant, everything was crystal clear. I knew all of the tasks that needed to be accomplished, but then again I also craved steak, hot sauce & egg foo young (go figure). But most importantly, for forever, always & to this day, I love surprises. So, I didn't want to know the sex of our baby prior to birth. I did, however, decide on a name for our baby. The same name whether it was a boy or a girl. The first name had no family significance, but it was Irish, I had always loved it, & although I had rarely heard it as a female name, it could be spelled a little differently & still be cool. The middle name was my maiden name , because I am proud of my heritage & it is a Scottish tradition. And of course the last name was our family name, my married name, which I embrace because I love my husband and am equally proud of my Celtic heritage.

I know that some of you might have read my blog in the past few years. So some of you have seen my daughter's name. But for those of you that haven't, well, here's the kicker, as I now ask other parents, "What were you thinking?", I also have to ask myself the same question!! Because even though I thought I was being so smart; giving my child a cool name... I found out 4 years later that I was so wrong!!!

The first week my daughter was in pre-school, she came home extremely upset because another little girl called her, "Crying Ryann." Why didn't I see that coming? I should have known better. I had gotten teased almost my whole life for one thing or another, I wanted my child to have a different experience. But honestly, I think everyone gets picked on sometime or another, for all kinds of different things. I think it's wrong, but does happen.

I know that I love my daughter & her name. To me, her name means a strong & independent girl (future woman), unfortunately to other children it means she cries alot... The 'Name Game' aspect didn't even occur to me when I was thinking of children's names!!! It should have since my Dad's name was 'Chuck', which was always a favorite for anyone who wanted to play 'The Name Game', a tradition anyone from the 70's-80's era should remember. You know? 'Chuck, Chuck..."

So, now I know am am one of those parents that should be asked, "What were you thinking?"

Closed Door Meetings

I work in the accounting department of a title company. Over the last year and a half, the mortgage industry has taken a huge tumble largely due to the sub-prime lending market crashing. Luckily over 2 years ago, my company was bought by a large nationwide company, which I think is the only reason we are still in business.

But still there were layoffs. Which I have survived.

At work today, there were a bunch of meetings, teams consolidating, teams dissolving, and then came the 'Closed Door Meetings'(Layoff meetings)...I can only hope for the best.

I love where I work & it took a long time for me to find this job! So what the heck!!! I hate closed door meetings!!!

The reply to: "A Letter To Mr Crist"

"Dear Ms. Duff:

Governor Crist received your e-mail and asked me to respond on his behalf.

The Governor appreciates the challenges local governments face in providing essential services while also lowering property taxes. Governor Crist believes that local governments can and will tighten their belts while at the same time providing the services our citizens need and expect.

Thank you for writing and do not hesitate to write again on matters of concern or interest to you.

Sincerely,

Rex T. Newman
Citizen Services"

My response:

Dear Mr Newman,

I thank you for the response, but I still don't appreciate or understand the reasoning for the passing of the amendment.

Prices on everything are skyrocketing... except our pay...that stays the same...and has for years.

WTF?????

Hello, Mr Crist?? Got any answers for that??

When I was young, people that were different, scared me and that's the truth.

Though it shouldn't have been that way, it's a fact. I have a cousin who is about 8 years older than me with Downs Syndrome. When I was 4 years old, at my Grandparents 50th anniversary party, she scared the heck out of me. For no reason what-so-ever, I was scared of her. She didn't DO anything to me. I was just scared. She was different. Back in those times (OK, I'm talking about the late 60's early 70's, NOT the pre-historic times), people with Downs were not asually in the mainstream population. My Aunt Joyce, my cousin Barb's mom, was told when Barb was born, that she should send her to an institution, because Barbara would never be able to walk, talk or function. Well, thank God my Aunt Joyce didn't listen. She worked relentlessly with Barb, and because of that, Barb learned to walk, talk & be productive, all of the things that the doctors said would happen, NEVER HAPPEN!!!

My cousin became semi-independent. She works, and has worked for years; she is a productive member of our society. Today she lives in what would be classified as assisted living. Not bad for for a baby that supposedly would have never walked or functioned & should have been either aborted or sent to an institution at birth...Anyway, I watched a documentary tonight on HBO about a married couple who have been deaf since birth & then decided that at age 65, they should have cochlear implant surgery. Afterward they could hear some sound, but not the same way we do, at least not all of the time. They could hear talking, but were not able to decipher the words. Some sounds were deafening while others were minuscule. Watching that program mesmerized me!

There is a good reason for that... I work with a deaf guy and he has a cochlear implant. I always thought that he could hear a lot, at least more than he let on to. After watching the HBO program, I wonder, "How much does he really hear?" I know everyone is different & there was a lot of screeching involved, and, I also know, he hears just 'noise'. So let's bring it on!!! What do you hear/sense? Our voices, our tone of voice, the revving of the engine...

Truthfully, there is no 'Can You Hear Me Now?'

A Letter To Mr Crist

Dear Mr Crist,

I did not vote for Amendment 1 but since it has passed, I now have to deal with the circumstances.

Please excuse my lack of enthusiasm over the grand celebration of my property tax being reduced by approximately $61.00 a year, because my home is not in the 300k + value range that will actually benefit from the property tax break.

My husband is a county employee. He works for the parks department which is the first place the county has earmarked for lay offs. This year there were no pay raises. (Prices on everything have skyrocketed, but no pay increase) Now because of amendment 1 passing, he is in jeopardy of losing his job. Which would mean that we would lose OUR HOME!!! Do you know that there are no less than 3 houses on my street in foreclosure? And this is before your precious amendment 1!

In the last several months, due to the threat of Amendment 1, I have seen many of my government employed friends lose their jobs, and then their homes. How is this a benefit?

I have a child in the school system. The Pinellas county Superintendent has proposed cutting teacher salaries by 2% as well as closing schools. We will lose assistant principals, counselors and many necessary programs including those that help troubled students (the ones that REALLY need help). How is this beneficial to our future? Think about it, who is going to be 'in charge' when you get old? When we all get old. Why are you messing with the educational programs? And don't you dare say you aren't, because that is exactly what has happened due to your precious Amendment 1 passing.

I ask you to please, do us all a favor and be a governor for ALL of the people in Florida, and not just the privileged!

Today in the St Pete Times Metro section there was a headline, "Tight Budget? Not For Everyone", which told about you approving $2.5 million in the state budget for CW Bill Young Institute of Government for a St Pete College to also be led by US Rep Bill Young. It is going to be fully funded by the legislator. WHY??? I don't want my taxes, which I pay faithfully every year, going to that.

How many children in Florida do you think will go to that college now that the money that funds to our public school system is cut to the bare minimum due to the passing of amendment 1?

OMG!! People are losing their jobs left & right. We are losing public services left & right...HELLO?!?!?

CAN ANYBODY HERE ME?????