When I was younger I never believed that, "History repeats itself". I mean, come on, like Columbus would ever discover America again, right? Now that I am older and have had children, I know that it is true but not necessarily in the factual sense.
I was a challenging teenager, to say the least. My parents didn't know half of what I was doing, thank goodness, but even at half the trouble, I was extremely hard to deal with. It took years to recover our relationship, which thankfully we did. The love between myself and my parents outlasted and out shined all of the difficulties we experienced when I was an awful teenager, thank goodness!
Now, let's fast-forward about 18 years. I am living in a far away state. I am married with a toddler and 2 teenage daughters in the house. I am going crazy trying to control the younger girl, who although is a 'step' is mine (some people don't understand that part, but she is/was mine). To my face I was Eileen, but to her friends I was her Mom. Anyway, she was doing the usual illegal teenage antics, which I did call her out on. I could deal with that. But when I had to go back to work full time, she was being irresponsible when it came to letting people in my home to take what they wanted, along with skipping school and other issues. After having numerous items stolen including my original wedding ring, then I was also told by her school that I would be jailed if she continued to skip and that the only way to assure her attendance was escorting her from class to class, I had reached my breaking point. So I called crying to my mom, "Please, I need help, I don't know what to do..." I gotta give Mom credit, she let me gush until I finally said, "I need help, what should I do?" In response, I heard a soft chuckle. Here I am devastated and Mom laughed! My response? "I know I was a horrible teenager, I'm sorry, but I turned out ok, right? Please help me! Seriously, I need help!" My Mother responded, "You can only do what I did. Keep repeating to yourself, "This too shall pass, I will outlast...I will outlast...I will outlast..."
Fast forward 8 years...I'm still in Florida our daughter, Mallorie gets married and moves 1200 miles away. She has 3 new step children who all have ADHD. they stayed with her for the whole summer along with my daughter, Ry for 1 month and of course her own girls, Christi & Cailin. Now, to her credit, she didn't call me asking for help, but one time, about a 3 weeks into the 2 1/2 month stay, when I called her one night around supper time...she told me she was sitting in her car in the driveway because she had to escape. She then told me everything that had been happening at her home with her stepkids, which with their issues was a lot.
You know what? I chuckled...just like my Mom had done to me years before! Then I remembered the conversation I had with my Mom and thought, "Holy crap, she was so right!" I asked my daughter if she truly loved her husband then gave her the best advise that I knew.
I said, "Just keep telling yourself, this to shall pass, I will outlast."
History Repeats Itself...
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2 comments:
I often find myself saying, "this is just a phase, right?! please tell me this is just a phase!" and then there is the "choose your battles" mantra which I often follow and tell myself.
I have no idea how I'm gonna handle teenage boys, let me tell you. hahaha
My advice about teens is, never appear to be surprized or shocked. When they get a strong reaction, it's rewarding, and they'll continue that stuff.
Also, remember someday you'll look back at it all with fondness from the empty nest.
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