I am always reflective, this time of year. Can't be helped. She was only 19. Her birthday was July 25th, her passing was August 25th, I am always thinking of her, and I am especially sad & sensitive this time of year.
You know what I think is f'ed up? I posted a blog on July 12th ("That thing on my window") Not 1 person commented or emailed me. I didn't expect much response, but I did at least expect some comments from my family members who visit my sites regularly. I know they all didn't get a chance to know Courtney very well, but she was my family & very much a part of my life. I am not begging for sympathy or empathy, & I never will, but still, it hurts a little that my family did not even take the time to acknowledge the post or even ask how we're doing.
I know this blog will probably piss off some people, but being my true self, I don't care, I'd rather be honest with my feelings than worry about getting flack from anyone.
I am who I am. Take it or leave it. Love me or hate me.
(sometimes it hurts...)
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12 comments:
Oh my, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I once knew someone who died at 17, and her loss still hurts me deeply.
I'm here from Michele's, and I hope you are feeling better by now.
I am sorry for your loss.. I lost my brother in may of 99. He was 3 years old at the time.. It was hell. And every year at that time i get down and have to pull myself up from the bottom.. Its supposed to get better..
Here via Michelle.. Don't let your family get to ya.. We can not control our family or friends. BUT we can control how they affect us.. or thats what they say anyhow..
You have enough to grieve over. Don't let other people's thoughtlessness or downright unkindness get you down. It's their loss, their bad behaviour and their problem - not yours. Rise above it. Easy to say I know. Right now I am trying to do the same. Come on hold my hands and we'll do it together. I'm glad I came from Michele's.
Thank you all for your kind comments.
I am not depressed, just melancholy & reflective about the life that she should be living now. A husband...maybe some children (grand children)...a career, a chance to experience life beyond living with Mom & Dad.
Ok, fine, I lied, I may be little depressed...(sorry)
it's so sad when things like this happen, and I'm sorry to say that I never got to know my step cousins.
I've never lost a child so I can't say that I know how you feel or sympathithize, b/c from what I understand it's a feeling htat can't be compared with anything else in life. *hugs*
hey that was me commenting apparantly as my husband.. oops.. didn't realize he was the one logged in
I went bak to read your post. Our oldest daughter dies suddenly in December 2006, of a pulmonary embolism. I am sorry for your loss. I knwo how hard it is. And ho hard it is to not be "the woman who lost her daughter" Which, by the way, I hate that phrase. I didn't lose her. I know exactly where she is. SHe was also cremated.
Hey Star, it's nice to hear from someone who has 'walked a mile in my shoes'. thanks for the comments.
I tried to visit you, but your private, which I totally respect. Anytime you want to talk, please visit.
I will respond.
You know, it's your blog, so you get to write anything you want...that's the cool thing about it.
I'm so sorry your family wasn't supportive when you needed it.
-- MissMeliss
www.missmeliss.com
I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts!
Here from Michele.
If people have not experienced grief of that sort in their life, they are at a loss as to how to react. I am the type of person that would rather reach out and be pushed away than not have reached out and find out later it was desperately needed. But many people walk on eggs and tread lightly. I hope you have the support and opportunity to share Courtney with others as this anniversary comes closer. hello from Michele!
I've been unable to read any blogs at all, so I would've commented had I a puter then- I hope you know!
I'm catching up now, tho!
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